"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise"
"Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant."
"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies."
-- Gene Hill
"In dog years, I'm dead."
"To his dog, every man is Napoleon;
hence the constant popularity of dogs."
-- Aldous Huxley
"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance,
and to turn around three times before lying down."
-- Robert Benchley
"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in?
I think that's how dogs spend their lives."
-- Sue Murphy
"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't
got the guts to bite people themselves."
-- August Strindberg
"No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture
unless absolutely certain
that he can hold his own in the conversation."
-- Fran Lebowitz
"Ever consider what they must think of us?
I mean, here we come back from a grocery store
with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow.
must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!"
-- Anne Tyler
"I wonder if other dogs think poodles
are members of a weird religious cult."
-- Rita Rudner
"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to
99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money."
-- Joe Weinstein
"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have
known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons."
-- James Thurber
"You enter into a certain amount of madness
when you marry a person with pets."
-- Nora Ephron
"Don't accept your dog's admiration as
conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
-- Ann Landers
"Women and cats will do as they please,
and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein
"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance,
everyone should have a dog that will worship him
and a cat that will ignore him."
-- Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan
"Of all the things I miss from veterinary practice,
puppy breath is one of the most fond memories!"
-- Dr. Tom Cat
"There is no psychiatrist in the world
like a puppy licking your face."
-- Ben Williams
"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem."
-- Edward Abbey
"Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong,
always try to make it look like the dog did it."
"Money will buy you a pretty good dog,
but it won't buy the wag of his tail."
"No one appreciates the very special genius
of your conversation as the dog does."
-- Christopher Morley
"A dog is the only thing on earth
that loves you more than he loves himself."
-- Josh Billings
"Man is a dog's idea of what God should be."
-- Holbrook Jackson
"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."
-- Andrew A. Rooney
"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog.
You are his life, his love, his leader.
He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart.
You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion."
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous,
he will not bite you; that is the principal difference
between a dog and a man."
-- Mark Twain
"Things that upset a terrier
may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane."
-- Smiley Blanton
"I've seen a look in dogs eyes,
a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt,
and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts."
-- John Steinbeck
"The greatness of a Nation and its moral progress
can be judged by the way its animals are treated"
"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face,
you should go home and examine
"The great thing about a dog is that you can make a fool of yourself in front of him and not only will he not scold you,
but he will frequently make a fool of himself, too." - Unknown